I don't know how to start this post off...
I feel so odd. And I feel odd that I feel odd; because I barely knew him.. I had only talked to him once? twice?
But I think I know why.
He was 20. 21? I don't know. Young...Too young.
I didn't know him well at all, I talked to him once in February. I knew he was friends with a good friend of mine who shared the same name as him.
I knew that he attended Revolution school at my church.
I knew he had saved up to buy a lime green motorcycle that was his life; he took sooo much pride in it.
I knew he had gotten countless tickets and had even been put in jail once because he drove like a lunatic.
Nobody knew that this boyish habit of reckless driving would take his life yesterday.
And I never knew how much I would think about this man...stare at his picture and ask myself if he was really gone; sit in the car in silence, thinking of how many people will be so very sad...wondering if my friend had found out yet. Praying, asking God to somehow...someway...bring beauty from this horrific pain. How? Why?
Just two months after our church suffered the loss of a whole family. The Coleman's.. their murder on the television for all to see. How sick, to show off this tragedy.
And now...this.
I was in a family meeting this morning. My dad was talking about how some guy in Africa was recently raised from the dead, and spoke about how we should start seeing that soon in America...that we should start being the hands and feet of Christ and raise these people from the DEAD.
And quietly, I bowed my head, and simply broke down crying, sitting silently at the kitchen table, tears streaming down my cheeks.
My mom finally noticed I was crying, and asked me why.
I sobbed..."He was 20!"
But there was a deeper reason...I felt so helpless.
He was gone.
But don't we speak of miracles?
And if we do, why don't we try them?
Did anyone try to raise Branden from the dead?
Do I look absolutely insane for the mere NOTION of bringing this up?
Are people going to think I'm crazy when they read this blog?
He had warnings...I realize. But...people speak that we are in the end times, we should start to see miracles; manifestations of the Lord's majestic power.
...I'm starting to cry again...
Why is he dead? When God came to raise the dead? When we're so close to the Second Coming...when this will bring so much pain and heartache; when God could have used him to bring more to His kingdom? WHY?
I'm bawling at this point.....we are so blind! Do you know how much flack someone would get if they tried to raise someone from the dead? If they kept a body at their house, praying that this person would rise? If they continued to pray...maybe even for days?
Lawyers, doctors, morticians, police, family...it would cause an UPROAR.
So why do I feel as if something should have been done???????
Someone should have stood up.
Said "we're not going to lose this boy".
Prayed and fasted in the hospital room, telling the nurses that this boy wasn't going home yet.
Was it his time?
Did God want him home?
How could God take him now?
I'm shaking as I type this. I couldn't stop this. But I want to stop it from happening again. To someone else.
Because I realized that Branden could have been MY brother. Or he could have been MY son. Or he could have been MY Brandon.
AND THAT IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE.
Cause the truth is that it could have just as easily been someone equally as close to me. And that just as many people are broken-hearted because of Branden's death as they would be for my sister, Elana.
I want to intercede. I want to SEE PEOPLE COME ALIVE AFTER THEY STOP BREATHING.
I want to see the blind see.
I want to see the lame walk.
I want to see the deaf hear.
I'm tired of sitting around, while Branden Orndorff dies at the age of 20 years old.
I don't know what I should be doing...I feel like a crusader without a mission. All I know is that this isn't right. And that I should be doing something to stop it.
But Lord...since this was his time to go...
Bring comfort to his family. Peace that passes the understanding of these awful circumstances. Joy in the midst of so much sorrow. Hold Julia, Leanna, their little brother, their parents, in Your arms. Wipe their tears. Mend their hearts.
Somehow God. I don't know why this happened.
But please help us to rise up and show the devil that this spirit of death has no more reign over Destiny Church.
That it has no more reign on St. Louis.
That it has no more reign in America.
And soon, it will have no more reign on earth.
Because our beautiful Jesus will come back, and heaven will be on earth.
That those who loved Branden will see him again.
That a day will come when You will wipe every tear from our eyes ♥
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where earth and wind, and sky and sea
Could never match Your majesty
From where I stand, I'm crying out
Jesus, You are life to me
And when I see Your face I'll know
All the pain and tears will go
To the bottom of the sea
You'll forever be holy, holy
When I am fallen, You are life to me
When I am broken, You are life to me
When I am empty, You are life to me.
You are NOT insane. I had the same thought about praying for resurrection. There were a bunch of us who prayed for resurrection with Sheri and the kids. It was so disappointing when it didn't happen - we really felt like we were going to see it... even though we partially felt crazy for asking...
ReplyDeleteWhen I had first heard about Branden, I was SO angry! He had such an evangelistic heart... I can remember countless times he tried to get Allen to head downtown with him (and whoever he was hanging out with) to go get some people saved :) He was so on fire like that... and as I pondered the loss of that I was ANGRY! Angry that it had been stolen and suddenly I had this thought... what if it was God's mercy? Branden had struggled and backslid this summer, he'd started getting back on track right before he died... what if God allowed it to happen when God knew he would end up with Him? What if God knew something about where Branden might head that I didn't?
Now I'm not trying to say that IS what happened... I'm just saying my heart was opened up to the possibility that it might not be what I thought it was (i.e. the enemy stealing his life). Regardless - it's a travesty to see the promise that his life showed be snuffed out... he will be missed.
All this lead to another thought too... as I went to StLToday.com and saw that 2 of the top headlines were people from Destiny... and in both cases it was choices people made that caused it... it made me realize that Destiny is really on the brink of something big... bigger than we know - I think the enemy understands it better than we do. We CANNOT continue to allow toeholds for the enemy in this season. We MUST be hot or cold... we cannot allow compromises because if we do the enemy will leverage them to impact our lives individually and corporately... we must relentlessly pursue holiness...
Those are all my thoughts :) Praying for your heart sweet Heather... it's a beautiful one... one that clearly beats for Him... love you!
You're not crazy for thinking that about bringing people back to life. I think about it too. It frustrates the heck out of me that we're supposed to have the power of Jesus Christ in us and yet no one has the faith to even TRY!!! NOT EVEN TRY!! Even now that I think about Brandon's dad....why do we not try? Is it too late if they have had the other fluids put in them?? Is it really? Has it never happened before? OH WAIT!! IT HAS!! Any time you want to pray for someone to come back to life. Call me. Where 2 or more are joined..........
ReplyDeleteI'm ready and willing. I don't want to feel crazy for believing that Jesus is powerful enough to bring someone back to life even in this day and age. That I'm not crazy for knowing that God has given us HIS AUTHORITY! This faithless generation has got me burning mad. The next death......we're getting together...and it's not going to be a death for long. Got it?
Ariel
I feel the pain from the loss of Branden Orndorff ever single day. His face is everywhere, some of his personal things decorate my walls.
ReplyDeleteOn September 15, 2009... I met Clyde Orndorff, Branden's dad. He told me of his loss then...only two months after it had happened. The way in which he had held his composure, the way that he could talk about Branden's happy times.. all of that had been a sign to me that he was strong.
Not every day is like that day, though... Take a mans son away, and a piece of his soul is taken along with him. He was this person's baby at one point, his flesh and blood! He taught him to walk, to laugh, to talk.
The most important thing I think that Branden's dad inflicted on him was the word of Jesus Christ.
I never got the chance to meet Branden Orndorff. It makes me cry that I didnt get the chance. Im sure he would have had a way to pick me up in sad times and show me the way of the Lord a bit better. But he is in a better place... I KNOW this. :D Because he loved Jesus.
I read these posts about bringing people back from the dead.... this has crossed everyone's mind. We have all experienced death and have lost someone dear.
For Branden's family's sake, I think about this often. Very often.
Maybe I could have taught him a couple things about responsibility and choices, while he teach me about Gods word and how to deal with life's struggles.
It WAS NOT Branden's time. But if you strap a dead person on your back.. and carry them with you for a long time, what do you think will happen? (Crude, but Branden's dad told me this one.)
I just ask that God send his angels to tell Branden about how we all miss him... how the world stopped for a minute once he closed his eyes to rest.
RIP Branden Monroe Orndorff